Seeking Spontaneous Discomfort and Meeting Strangers

Lemai Vo2:06

Okay, well, hey guys, my name is Lamai and I am currently a rising senior at the College of William Mary in Virginia, the United States.

Lemai Vo2:29

I'm currently studying chemistry right now. I'm a research chemistry student. It's not fun. But yeah, I get that reaction all the time. Don't worry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No comment. Just big oops.

Lemai Vo3:08

Oh, okay. I thought you said socks. I was like, okay, I'm socks. Yes. Organic chem is a torture chamber. Okay, it's like the class that like.

Lemai Vo3:53

Okay, for my school, it's the total opposite. It's like, for some reason, everyone that comes out of Orgo, we have the few that really just switched out. Like they just wasn't on it for them. But a lot of people were like, I want to do Orgo, Kim in the future. Like I want to take more classes. And I'm like, you are. This is crazy. My school is insane. Maybe I'm missing the insane school, but opposite reaction for me.

Lemai Vo4:27

I think it's how they set up the classes because usually when you take chemistry classes like the set, it's like the general chem classes first then or go usually right for like most US schools. But for my school, that how they set it up was they did the first gen general chem class. And then they did or go one. And then it did Orgo too. And then the second general chem class. So it's like freshman year you're already hit with the dose of reality. Basically, which I think, I think it's a good thing because I feel like, you know, you want to know sooner if this is not it for you rather than like, almost halfway for your semester and you're like, Oh, shoot, I actually don't like this at all, you know?

Very true. What made you pick chemistry? Let me need to demonstrate. Oh, man. When I was like in high school, I used to like over-achieve and kept like, I don't know why. Like, chem was so hard for me in high school, but like, for some reason, I really liked the experiment part and doing all the hands-on like lab activities and stuff like that. And like, for some reason, that really sparked something in me. And I was like, yes, this is the papa need to take. And then Yeah, it's still hard, literally for three years. I'm still struggling in chem, but I'm still doing it. So if you have something.

Lemai Vo6:11

I mean, I'm struggling through it, yes, but for some reason I'm enjoying it. which is kind of strange because most people like these stuff that they like it's easy for them, like it's easy going, but it's like if it's easy going for you, then what are you improving from it? You know what I mean? Like you're there's no growth in you through that subject or interest. So for me, it's like still uphill. It's like a battle, but it's more like an uphill battle, but I'm still growing from it, you know?

Lemai Vo6:52

I know you like knitting. Yes, I've been, I've been knitting and crocheting. So it's two different things, but still like same related to yarn. But I've been doing it since my junior year of high school. So we do that math like five, six years maybe, which is a while, but it came out of the like how I started it came out of the whim. It's just going to be a common theme I'm thinking because Literally during my art class, I was like staring at we were doing like an arts and crafts project. We were making dream catchers, not go I dream catchers and like we were just doing little things and it had nothing to do with knitting and crocheting but somehow I looked at that dream catcher and I was like, yes, I have to start learning now and like.

That's where my interests grew from just that little thing. I was like I'm going to learn and I'm gonna learn it the right way and I'm just like okay I Love this energy. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why things just come out of nowhere. You know, I mean like you I like for some reason I don't think that's how my mind works, but all my good ideas come out of nowhere, which is really strange but

Lemai Vo8:17

For sure. Absolutely. Or at least a lot of them.

Lemai Vo8:23

Yeah, I feel like if things come unexpectedly, that's where you have them out of the most stressful time of your life or the best time of your life. Yeah, I honestly haven't heard about the stressful time. It's usually the good side of things.

Lemai Vo9:05

I mean, like for, for instance, if we go back to the knitting idea, like some of my projects like I don't really plan out designs per se. Like I really like designing stuff, but sometimes I look at an object or I like something really weird comes out of my mind or my journey and I go, this is what I'm gonna do. This is what I'm gonna put all my efforts in. This is something that I have no idea how it's gonna look. I'm an actual object. And for some reason it turns out pretty good in my opinion. But I guess like The most recent thing that came out of the whim, I guess is the phrase to say it, was the yes-fury, the speed friends, the events.

Lemai Vo11:00

Yeah, I kind of want to say my freshman year of college. But like I generally don't remember I don't put time stamps on things like in like this XYZ date and this time I figured it out. No, but I think I found them on a recommendation like that my like YouTube does like the time where like the algorithm was like extremely random. And I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna this video looks cool. I'll just press it. It's probably one of those like 24 hour challenges that they do. Or like they were like alone in the street with no phone or like, oh yeah.

Money and stuff like that. It was probably one of those episodes. I watched that and then all of a sudden it was like, this was probably like at night because I think I went from a rabbit hole basically. So I kept watching more and more of their videos and I was like, they're pretty cool. You know what I mean? Like that's how I like something sparked in me that was like, yes, this is the energy I needed in my time. But a lot of people. Yeah. But I think I wasn't really active on the Yes fam like Facebook group. Like I didn't even join in the beginning of time.

I probably joined where it was like 50,000 people in the community. Like right now it's like almost 150,000, which is blows my mind how it's still growing, which it deserves to be, you know, but I like didn't, I guess. get more engaged with the community until like probably like a couple months ago, to be honest with you, because I think like outside of outside of quarantine, outside of like the tech, like all this stuff, all this virtual stuff, I was like, I guess living my life like fine. Like I didn't really like, I had friends to talk to, you know, I was just going about my daily school life, you know, being a busy busy student and whatnot.

And but like when quarantine started, I was like, I felt more isolated, I feel like because the campus community really gave me a chance to like talk to people I know, but it didn't ever give me a chance to talk to people. I too, I didn't know really exactly. So basically I felt. when I was alone and with my family, I had family around me. I saw people to talk to, but I still felt really isolated and really alone. And also, it was an incubing at timing when my ex-boyfriend broke up with me during the time where our campuses started closing. And it was like, I felt like it was like a spiral down, basically.

I felt like I had no one to talk to because there was no one around anymore because everyone moved out. and then, you know, but then I was like, maybe I should do something that I didn't think I had the chance to if I still lived my life the same if we still weren't in quarantine. So I was like, maybe I should go back into the yes fam. I don't know why. I don't know why my mind was like this. I was like, the yes fam is still going to be there. It's always been there. So I was like, might as well just hop in and stuff like that.

And it was like, not like a culture shock, but it was like much more different than I expected. You know? How so? Like, it was more like everyone in the community has like one purpose. Like, they all want to seek discomfort and like learn like, meet new people and be more engaged. And it's like, it's like a goal, but a more wholesome goal, you know, what I mean?

Lemai Vo15:10

Yeah, but it kind of is. Yeah, it's a very positive one.

Lemai Vo15:17

And it's like, well, yes, there's some creepos out in the internet and like there's no way to avoid that. No matter what, I mean, the year from it's like there's always going to be like one or two people or just like yeah the creepos on the internet but I just really liked how everyone like during this time of like isolation and quarantine that people hosted virtual events and all that stuff like I've seen links pop up of people wanting to do virtual meetups and all these crazy things and I was like What if I've decided to step out of my comfort zone and start creating virtual events?

And it was like before the speed friends thing even happened, I was like, maybe I should just start my own Zoom calls and see what happens from there. And so like I barely, not gonna lie, I haven't joined a single Zoom call before. And the first thing I did was host one. So I had no idea what it was. putting myself into really. I was like, wow, this could either be like the best time of my life or the creepiest experience I've ever gone through. Because I'm posting a code online and like literally anyone can join. And it's like, I don't know, I don't know any of these people are in a lot of stuff.

So I was nervous. It was like a simple game night by the way. The setting is like a game night where I stream it on my laptop and whatnot and everyone gets their friends like Jackbox games. You know what I'm talking about? or you like get your phone out and that and whatnot. And so I had I posted it or like I guess like the US page the discord when someone that I met from YesFam added me on it and then like the vibe Lyab or whatnot and like I originally no one joined at first but someone from the YesFam community reached out to me because like from some post that I commented on.

like a while ago and we were still kind of in touch and I was like, hey, I noticed this is super last minute, but do you want to join this zoom call with me because I am very lonely. Please. And she was like, oh, yeah, of course. Like, let me go on in a couple minutes. And like she joined and we like talked for a bit. And her boyfriend was also through the spam community as well. Shannon and Karian are their names, but. They joined in with me and they like helped me calm down a little bit because I was so nervous. Like I like said I was nervous originally but they were like talking to me back and forth and we were engaging well and then people started coming in to the chat to play games with us and that's when I met some of the hosts that are now part of Speed Friends.

Because funny story I am not forced but But for the Speed Friends event, that was it needed a lot of people in it. And so when I was doing the game nights, I had like eight people join that call and the first people that, can I say names?

Lemai Vo21:47

What is seek discomfort? I feel like seek discomfort for me where I took what I took away from the channel itself is being able to go outside during usual comfort, your usual society norms, and like do something more different, but in a more. No, some nicer way, not like sketch. Well, I'm guess some of yes, like somebody yes, very people do sketchy things sometimes, but like, it's like a way to go out of your comfort zone and do things that you didn't think you would be able to do outside of your comfort. And like break society norms, which that's how I took it. What about you? How did you take it?

Lemai Vo24:39

I'm gonna be scared and I'm gonna be like, don't go there, right? It's like, it's like fear is a second person in your head, basically telling you what to do and what not to do.

Lemai Vo25:41

Yeah, for sure. I agree. I definitely agree with that. It's really cool.

Lemai Vo26:16

Yeah, I agree. that for sure. I mean, you've just heard my experiences throughout all these virtual chats, like literally, unheaping when you were applying for the speed friends thing. And how we mentioned Cole, like literally, it's like an inside thing of all the original people that I first met through the game night. So like, we all grouped together. And we all made a group chat together. And it's only like 10 of us maybe from all of us are from YesFram. All of us met through the online virtual games I hosted. And we were all trying to come up with a name for the group chat because we had to distinguish the group chat.

Of course. We were like, what should we name it? And then for some reason, They all called me Lemon because one guy could not pronounce it. His name was Mo. One guy could not, he could not pronounce my name right. And the first thing he came to mind when he was at home. Is it lemon cult? Not exactly. Why? Why do you think? We were like, okay, we got to add a lemon in there somewhere into the name. And like, I was like probably like lemon fan. I thought of that idea first, but then like someone was like, what about yes, lemon? And now when we were, for some reason, everyone agreed and I was like, okay, we're going with that.

But we as a joke, we'll actually name our group chap is we probably should consider it. But we're technically a lemon cold because I technically created the cold per se. But that's what we. It's an inside joke with all of our all my friends and I and we were all just told some people from Yes Man just thriving in this group chat and there are the reason why this speed from Sphyn could happen. Should I talk more about that or?

Lemai Vo28:42

Well, okay, I'm going to avoid your question for a second and come back to your question. Go for it. But for some reason, I was like, we were, well, I was, how do I put this? I was probably in my bed at like 12 at night, probably swiping through Tinder in Bumble. first and like you know before I went to bed and I was like I hate this. I like hate the energy of dating apps and stuff like that but I was like I still want to meet new people but I don't want them to be guys all the time you know what I mean so I was like for some reason or should I just touch my mic for some reason at like one in the morning I was like I want to do something with friends I want to do something It's not dating because people are sketchy that way.

But I also don't want to do an omegal thing because someone did do an omegal yes fam thing through yes theory. And it was such a good idea. But when I joined it was there was like literally no one on it. And like it was I thought it was kind of poorly structured on my end. Like I didn't like how it was set up. So I was like what if I do something like that? like, omegle vibes, but do like a speed friends, like meet new people through yes, very, but without the large group setting where everyone, where you can only hear two people talk back and forth, rather than let everyone talk, if that makes sense.

So I was like, I have the access to do breakout rooms through Zoom. So I was like, so what if I did do like a speed friends typing for yes, fear? And this was my idea at one in the morning. And I was like, we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it today. I'm gonna wake up the next morning, text, text the lemon cold, lemon cold, my lemon cold chat. And I was like, I woke up at like eight in the morning and I was like, so guys, I'm gonna sound crazy. But you guys wanna help me with my speed friends event that I'm gonna host.

And like for some reason, Everyone was on board with it. Like everyone was so supportive. They were like one by one. Like Raia Kevin, Joe, Jessica, and like some other people were like in Jordan, we're all like, yes, we are gonna, we're gonna set this up even though you are crazy and who is last minute, we're gonna help you out. And it's like, this is the energy I needed. Well, it's like it fits so well with the yes, like the Aldo whim type five. I was telling you earlier because like for some reason all the good things happened last minute unplanned. And it's like we had we literally had no plan.

We're like, okay, so breakout rooms like we're gonna divide people out. We're gonna set some time and then like let people just talk, you know, and It was crazy. We had 50 people join. You were in the first one when we were troubleshooting everything. I was. And it was like, we were only expecting 20 people, like, or at the most, at the most even. And you were so surprised how many people joined the very first, within the very first like 20 minutes.

Lemai Vo32:43

It was so surreal how many people joined out of the win because we really posted this link. Super last minute. Like we were. Like I when we started the event, none of us knew how the breakout rooms really worked. like we were all just like pressing buttons and seeing how to, you know, it was like a huge control panel that we didn't even read the instructions in kind of vibe, like an Ikea set basically. And we were just poking around a bit. We figured it out eventually like our three in, but like, no one's all the stress in the process, but it was. It was so cool how many people joined last minute and they everyone I've heard a lot of good things come from it You know, oh 100% I remember that day.

Lemai Vo33:41

You were my first you were my first um, what's it called? Okay, so you didn't do round one I did not do round one first. Yeah, because like I was I was the first person to figure things out. But you were my first person. I remember that. I got paired up with, which I thought was pretty cool.

Lemai Vo34:12

Yeah, we're reaching out. I was like, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal.

Lemai Vo35:01

At least not. Yeah, we had literally the same reaction. We had zero plan. We were like, so like I started getting text messages at our brain. We're like, so how long are we going to make this last four? And I was like, I don't know. I'm having a good time, honestly. So we will just keep going. It lasted for like five hours. Five hours. And I was like, but everyone longer than almost six hours. Yeah, it was crazy. The craziest part was because no one left because they still wanted to keep going. And for some people, it was like they started at like two in the morning and they were up the entire time.

So it was like eight in the morning, basically when the thing ended for them for some people. Yeah. We had a consistent number of people. We had like 40 people. Yeah. Yeah. The entire time. Yeah. And that it's so crazy how so many people were vibing with this idea. And it's like, I know it's not an original idea, but I was like, but how can I make it better? You know what I mean? That was the mindset I was coming in with.

Lemai Vo36:42

I don't really know. It's like ambivert or whatever it's called.

Lemai Vo39:02

you would want to talk to them outside of the survey. We didn't want to put too much time into the speed frames. So for example, a lot of people were like, why aren't we making it like 10 minutes long? Or if we tried that, like of course we tried that for a couple of rounds and we tried the lowest time. We tried like seven, five minutes, like, or what even like that. And we figured out that seven minutes is a good time for you to have a good, like a good decent theme combo going on. But then at the end, be so like excited or anxious, but like, or all the emotions basically to keep in touch with that person that you talk to.

Because at the end, we want more people to connect with each other more. We don't just want for this to be the last time that they talked to them and never talked to them again. You know what I mean? Like we want people to stay and touch Rudy S. from the community, regardless of where they are in the country, which I think is. Or the world. Yeah, but a world, country and world, basically. Like we want more people to connect with each other, regardless of where they are globally. And the best part is that like more people have been saying that they've remained in touch with some people that they've met for speed friends, which is like a mind blowing experience, for sure. because I still do. I still talk to people outside of speed friends, but it's really, it's a really cool experience.

Lemai Vo40:44

Yeah, exactly. I love it. That's, I guess that's the, um, I can be in that's going on here because I usually, I am, I am a serial planner. Interesting. I am, yes, I'm wrong, but like, I love to plan things out. I like to plan my day to know what I'm doing the next day and make sure that I can stay consistent with it. But for some reason, I, it ends up not happening that way. I end up doing something totally different and it's like, like now I think about it, I'm like, shoot, why did I just waste so much time? thinking about stuff that I'm gonna do in the future and just let things go.

You know what I mean? Just let things happen the way that they're gonna plan out like literally whatever gods or oodoo-doo-doo stuff that comes in your head. It's like I just sometimes now I wake up and I just go okay. The day is gonna be good or bad or you know mediocre. But I stopped planning what to do each and every day now because it took so much mental energy to do that and I always get paranoid. But going back to your thing with fear, it was like, I was changing my mind on things I was going to do the next day because I was like, oh, maybe I should do this or maybe I should do that.

You know what I mean? But now... Since quarantine, I've slowly let go of the idea of planning things out and just going, okay, let me just live my day without all the to-do lists in my head. Well, of course, yeah, have to do lists, like, you know, like get your shit done. But like, you know, like plan less and like enjoy life more how it's coming to you, I guess, rather than expecting it to come to you.

Lemai Vo43:22

Yeah. I mean. Sometimes it turns out so messed up. Like sometimes at the end of the day it looks like something like make out of the whim and like this is where out of the whim becomes unmagical but I would make stuff and be like wow this is the shittiest thing I've ever made in my entire life. Why do I spend two days on this project and it looked like this? It's happened but I feel like If you don't realize the mistakes and you don't realize that things turn out bad, then how are you going to live life? Not try to be deep or deep shit or anything like that.

But like, if you can't, if you don't see the mistakes that you've gone through, you can't grow in life, you know? And like that applies to like my life that applies to school, especially cam. Ooh. Literally so many mistakes in life. But I feel like mistakes help you grow a lot and especially if they come out with a whim. Like of course you'll make mistakes and of course you turn out really good or really bad but they all these things help you grow and like and realize that you know but yeah.

Lemai Vo46:14

Thank you. I really appreciate it. Literally just, this is so hard for me. I'm just like. spilling stuff that is coming out of my head. And I'm like, I feel like I'm losing brain cells a little bit. And I'm like, like, I'm just like talking. And I'm like, well, this makes sense. I hope it makes sense. But like for some reason, things that come out of my head, I just like, I'm like, yes, absolutely. It makes sense in my head, like 1000%. And I like start talking and I'm like, in like some of my friends are like, I don't like, wow. Guys some good stuff.

You just said there won't be alright and then sometimes my friends are really honest with me and they're like girl What did you do to say? I'm out of your mouth and I'm like that's this is the vibe of the podcast.

Lemai Vo47:22

It's like I'll swim to the extreme because like my head is like, yes, okay. Like I like, again, the serial planner thing. I even plan on what I try to say, like the sound cool. And then at the end of the day, I end up saying none of the things that I planned. And I'm like, there's no point in me planning at this point. And it's no point in me being a serial planner might as well just throw that part away because it knows no point. I am so much time to just do other grab my life.

Lemai Vo48:22

Yeah, I mean I hate that but also at the end of the day it's what I ended up doing is going with the flow. I'm like I want to be structured, I want to be planned out and whatnot but for some reason it's always a go with the flow vibe and never how I intended it to be. Like it's like I take it as a good thing at the end of the day and never a bad thing because of course doing virtual events and doing all the spings and going on a yes fam and all that stuff. I wouldn't have been able to meet such good people and make such good friends with all my lemon, all my lemon squads like and all of them. So I am really fortunate. I somehow decided to come back to the swing of a game and be more engaged with the community.

Lemai Vo49:29

Yeah go to Disney World Okay, you know I don't know if you watched it before I don't know if you watched it before I don't know if you watched it before I don't know if you watched it in a movie but like okay I swear my phrase like sound how people like who won the Super Bowls or the ball games. They have to say, like, a phrase, like, what do you want to do after this?

Lemai Vo52:25

Well, I guess I'm just a mind reader. I guess I'm just a mind reader. I don't even have to intro at this time.

Lemai Vo52:39

That's amazing. I'm so sorry. I apologize. I broke your norms. I told you there is.

Lemai Vo52:49

No, I love it. See, there is no plan. At the end of the day, we were just rolling with it.

Lemai Vo53:32

How do I do this? I had regrets starting those because like my my fear in my head was like Well, no one's gonna join because of XYZ like I was it's like faking like my fear was faking X by faking stuff that could happen like exactly now and I always over being so many times like especially being like a STEM major over thinking is like a New habit that you put in your head, you know, I mean and so I guess like I feel like overthinking is like a thing that you have to fight against, you know? Like I journal a lot and that helps me like escape overthinking thing because I write down all the all my thoughts down because I feel like going to bed with a clear head helps you avoid that overthinking and fear in your head and it helps you have a good start to your day to realize that it's just let things flow. you know, it will work out at the end. I love it.

Lemai Vo55:46

Of course. That's how I try to live life now. And hopefully I can take this outside of quarantine. Like when it's older, I won't go back to my old ways before. Like of course my old ways were fine. Like no joke, but like now I can approach life differently outside of quarantine. And when I go back to my school life, I'll be able to realize that. Oh, it's not just applies to me. Inside my house while I'm isolated applies to like in general like I'm a girl. I'm grown now might as well just let my grown human being self like live this way now and rather than before I Don't think you'll lose it.

I'll think you will I sure hope not Just I would definitely Just try to grow from here of course and you know still hug my stuff animal but That's, oh yeah. That's 100%. Yes, that's how I take away from this. Whatever this episode is going to be, whatever you structure it to be like. Anything else you want to add? Just right here at the end? Here at the end. Am I allowed to do shout outs? Sure. Well, shout out to the S-PIRI community, of course, because without them. I'd probably the same person I was two months ago. Not like anything dramatic happened or anything like that, but they really did change how I think about life now and how I go about my days.

It's very cool. But also, I would like to shout out my women fan squad, of course. Basically, I get involved. I'm always told her names or you're going to cut them out. There, it's Raihah Kevin, Joe, Jessica, Jordan, Gradyne, Ethan, Mo, Shannon and Kyriean, but all those people helped me become a better person and helped, like, really yesterday I'm going to help me realize that, like, there's at the end of the day, there's always going to be people to connect with you. There are one strangers, of course, at the end of the day, we all became good friends. And yeah, without that I would probably be miserable and introverted and trapped in my yarn ball of chaos. If that's one way to approach it.

Lemai Vo59:03

I'll put it. Well, you can put the Zoom time Facebook group if you're interested in doing that. Done. But yeah, if anyone is interested in doing a speed front event, you only have to be in the SVM community. to be in it. But it would be a good way for you guys to meet new people and have better connections with people that aren't sketchy in this world for sure.

Lemai Vo59:34

We filter out all the bad people for sure.

Lemai Vo59:52

It's growing. Like this thing is growing and we're like trying the next steps is that we're trying to post it on the main. Yes. Yes. Very fan group. But the problem is is that we don't have D.R. Snell or like the capacity to do that yet because we're still trying to look for more co hosts and hosts and whatnot. So that's why it hence the application. stuff because that didn't end the day we want to post it for there but also try to see if the S-fury like YouTubers yeah Matt Thomas and the Lauren all them but join that's the goal in life oh for sure I didn't realize that we were all it's funny because all my friends now are all basically all part of my my event business Because it's like, we're not even making money doing this.

We were just doing this for fun, but we had a legit thing going on. Like, ever since the first one, we made a whole Google Doc of the whole of everything that went wrong and what we ended up doing and like a whole table of like, who's going to do what shipped for each lot. Yeah. We're probably going to be in our cult telling you this in advance. But I'm just saying like this is what you're putting yourself into. Or Google or now almost 10 page Google Doc because we can't organize.

Lemai Vo1:01:24

Yeah, just like take it back. You're a sponsor like I would change my mind.

Lemai Vo1:01:36

Well, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it Hey guys, thanks for listening to episode 36 of the Eric Chow Empowers Podcast.