How I Started Empowering
Host: Eric Chow · October 27, 2021 · Episode 56 · 33 minutes
Transcribed from the episode audio and edited to read cleanly: names and terms corrected, grammar fixed, filler words and false starts removed, punctuation added. Words in [brackets] could not be made out with certainty. The episode itself is the record.
Hey everybody before we get started with what this episode is going to be all about here is a quick message on how you can start your own podcast if you want to all right, what is going on everybody? Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of The Eric Chow Empowers Podcast the conversational storytelling show here to empower you. I'm your host Eric Chow and man, I'm just excited. I feel like life is awesome. I'm not going to lie. I'm currently recording this at 10.33 p.m. There's definitely been a lot happening today, but I am excited. I may sound a little bit tired. I don't know how I sound right now since I'm the one talking. I suppose I'll hear it when I take a quick listen back to this, but.
I'm excited. This is awesome. I hope you guys are enjoying the past couple of episodes I have personally had a such a blast with these interviews and of course bringing back some of these monologues that I've been doing and of course this episode by the way is a monologue I'm just going to share a little bit myself today but man, it's just been awesome. I hope you guys are enjoying it and yeah, so today I really wanted to share a personal story, a very important story, to be honest. I think that's kind of where this show started. It started very much a storytelling show. I just wanted to be able to share my experiences and things that I was going through and what I was learning along the way. As I continued with the podcast, got to...
Give guests the opportunity to share their story as well and bringing back these monologues is an opportunity for me to share more of, well, me. So that's really what I want to do today and I'll also end up sharing why I'm choosing to share this story now because there's been some interesting things that have happened in the past couple of days. So some of you guys in fact many of you I don't know about many, but some of you guys know this I did martial arts for many many years and really this episode is going to be about my journey in martial arts. So if you're interested great if you may not be particularly interested in martial arts, maybe there's something in the story and in the journey that that will benefit you.
I think that sometimes with all these stories that we share, we may not relate to everything. We may not be necessarily interested in every subject, but there is always some insight and some level, something that you can connect to and relate to in every single story. That's what I believe. That's what I've experienced in my podcast.
I will start from the very beginning. I took my first martial arts class in first grade and I rarely rarely talk about this. Even those of you who know that I did martial arts may not even know that but I did take my first martial arts class in the first grade. It was a local karate dojo. I don't quite remember how I enjoyed it or how I liked it but even today I can still picture the dojo, the punching bags, the punching dummies, and I remember being there for just a couple of months honestly. It wasn't for very long, but I reached the yellow belt before stopping.
It's always funny for me whenever I hear somebody say that they did martial arts because almost every single one of them, it's white belt, yellow belt, every single one of them and I was on that same track honestly. But I ended up quitting. Again, I was only there for a couple of months. It wasn't until the fourth grade that I had the opportunity to get back into martial arts. There was a reading competition thing in Majig at my elementary school and I had read quite a lot. It was just like a personal reading challenge kind of thing and one of the rewards I was able to choose.
They had a couple of different rewards I was able to pick from and one of them was a free week of classes at Taekwondo and so needless to say I decided to take that. I enjoyed it and I ended up signing a three-year contract at that dojo. So I ended up training there roughly three times a week for the next three years of course there were some days off due to, for example, if I fell sick or me and my family went out of town or if it was a holiday, but for the most part, three days a week for roughly three years, I think the classes were about 45 minutes long and, about three years later, I ended up getting my junior black belts. First, Poom is what it's called. Junior black belt, just 12 years old and...
Man, it was such a great experience. I had such a blast. I enjoyed going to the dojo and at the end of that, I was considering keeping going, but I decided, you know what? I think I've had enough of Taekwondo. I think I'll just stop. One of my friends at the dojo had mentioned another martial art that he and his dad had been looking at and it was called Shugyo Aikido. I remember looking at a website that they sent me and it was like, oh that looks interesting, looks pretty cool, very different from Taekwondo. Taekwondo is a very kick-based martial art. There's some striking, a lot of striking and there's a lot of kicks.
But Aikido traditionally from Japan Taekwondo is from Korea. I'm not going to go into it too much is more on grappling joint locks pins things like that anyway, I remember looking at the website that they sent me. But it wasn't really until a few months later that I ended up going to that dojo in fact what ended up happening was my mother. I were driving home from some something that we had been doing and we remembered Shugiwikido and we remembered that the dojo was actually along the way and it happened to be right around the time that they were doing class. It was evening time.
It turns out the friend who would actually mention Shukyu Akido to me initially, I called him in the car while I was heading there. It turned out him and his dad were actually heading to the dojo that same day. It was a crazy coincidence. But anyways, I remember walking into the dojo that first day and seeing my soon to be sensei walk right over to us and say hi tall guy I remember and very like soft kind voice. I just remember having such a blast at that first class meeting some people. I remember after walking over to my mom and saying yeah, I want to continue here and yeah, I would have to start over a white belt even though I had a black belt in Taekwondo because it's a different martial art.
But I, even at that first day, I was like, this is a place I want to be. This is something I want to pursue. Not two years later, I ended up having my first degree black belt. I showed you IKeto and I want to emphasize something that's pretty cool. This is not a junior black belt. This is first Don. That means this is an adult black belt. I'm a full black belt, first degree at...
In Shugyu Akido. Man, it was just my experiences in martial arts through those five, six years that I trained. It's just full of so many memorable and special, special moments that have stuck with me in the years since. I'll probably end up sharing some of those during this episode here. But one thing I remember. One thing that I've realized and kind of reflecting on my experience training is martial arts for me was the first time I feel I made a choice by myself and for myself where I said I want to do this. I think practically every major choice, every activity I'd ever taken up in life was kind of just put on me, obviously school was a thing I was the kid that was literally thrown into the pool for my first swimming lesson which I'm actually very grateful for but my parents literally threw me in I think I cried when I started when I hit the water and ended up having a blast by the way Piano lessons I cried at my first lesson and ended up doing that for several years there were a lot of things that I feel like I did but martial arts that was my choice.
I think I had I took some pride in that and I stuck with it for almost six years and I often say that I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for the years training. I truly cannot emphasize enough how some of those moments and the small lessons I learned at the dojo's I trained at have become a core part of who I am my character my values my beliefs my perspectives on life honestly, I think it's going to be an important part of my book if when I when I write one a biography autobiography some years in the future, but man, I guess I'll share a couple of stories.
I remember when I was training Taekwondo, there were many days, actually in Shugyu Ikedo as well, there were many days where I really didn't want to go. I just, I wasn't feeling like going to the dojo. I didn't want to do it. But I went anyways. For one reason or another, I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go. I would literally just be like, looking at my uniform about to put it on and just I don't want to do this. I don't want to go, but I would go. I'm proud of myself for that. I don't think little kid and me realized how powerful that was, even though it was so frickin simple. But it was so important for me to do that because one, it developed this evidence.
In my mind's eye that I could be consistent and persistent, that regardless of how I felt, I could keep going. I think that's such an important lesson because sometimes, there's a lot of times in life where we just feel like we don't want to do something that we are supposed to do. But we sometimes have to learn to show up anyways. It's that habit of showing up that is so crucial. I'm so grateful that I built that in for myself at such a young age. Many of the times I would go to the dojo and I'd actually have a great time. I'd come back and I don't know.
It just it just felt great to go to the dojo. Some days I'll be honest with you, it wasn't a great day, but I don't think I ever regretted going. I think that's the key part. I think a lot of people also say that for the gym. How many people sign up for a gym membership and the people who actually say, you know what? I don't feel like going, but I'm going to go anyways. I'm going to work out anyways.
Maybe it's not the greatest workout. Maybe it's not their greatest performance. Maybe they didn't hit any PRs, but damn does it feel good to know that you showed up. That was a powerful lesson for me. I think another big one was at Shigyu Aikido. I remember my sense saying this to me and one of my friends. We had just gotten promoted to Brown Belt. We were talking to our sense and me my friend and my sensei and he mentioned to us something he said guys. I want you to know something very important at this dojo I do not let anyone get past white belt if they don't show respect.
I don't let anybody reach brown belt unless they show humility and that had such a big impact on me because it's it wasn't just about technique or performance or how good you were. I was starting a white belt, but me and my friend, we both have black belts in Taekwondo. We know a little bit of martial arts. It's a very different martial art, but we know martial arts. We know a thing or two. It was not hard to get past white belt. But the fact that it was important to our sensei that people were showing respect, respecting your uniform.
Respecting yourself, respecting the mat, respecting your parents, the people you were training with, whether they were younger or older than you, higher belt or lower belt than you, respecting the sensei, respecting the equipment, respecting the weapons that we would hold. Everything, just showing respect was so important to him and being, showing humility and the fact that he needed to emphasize that was made a big impact on me because it said at you know 13 years old or whatever 14 years old whatever age I was character is important. That was the lesson and that is really stuck with me for years and years and years another big lesson I remember was I was a brown belt.
I was training for my black belt test Shugyu Akito and I was training with this gentleman who was already a black belt. I had helped him get I was kind of his training partner as he was going for black belt and towards the end of our training and you know my test was coming up. You know I think I probably had a few weeks left and I had been training for this black belt test for maybe a few months or something like that. I had been training at this point for somewhere north of maybe 12 hours a week every week pretty much six days a week.
I told this guy I just probably middle of training after training I said hey by the way man how can I thank you for this you know I. You've invested a lot of time you could have been you're a black belt now you could have been learning some new techniques and improving your own skills, but instead you've spent weeks and weeks and weeks hours and hours and hours just training with me man. How can I thank you for this and you know? I'm literally thinking like yo, I'm just going to buy this dude lunch or something like that like I didn't think it was going to be anything.
But this is what he told me I'm telling I'm super serious about this is what he told me said Eric the best. Thank you. You can give me is to pass on what you've learned now of course at some point I ended up stopping training martial arts. It was somewhere in the middle of high school. I decided to stop training and that's a whole nother story but man that one line I cannot tell you what that one line has done for me in my entire life. It's literally become such a core part of who I am.
That I like it's just so natural for me now. I don't even think about it. I literally I'm struggling right now as I'm talking to recall a particular example of how I did this, but literally everything I'm good at. I just feel it's so natural that I want to share it. I want to pass on what I've learned. I, one example could literally be this podcast. I had you know, self-improvement, personal development, storytelling, etc. Everything that this show is about, empowering yourself, everything that this show is about, came from the desire that I had of, I have been working on me and I want to share that.
That's what this show is. That was literally, and I didn't even think of that. It's just a part of my character now that whatever I've learned, I want to pass it on.
The best way to thank me, Eric, is to pass on what you've learned. That's just been such a driving force for my entire life now. My podcast started like that. Tutoring. I've tutored many, many kids in different subjects over the years and, formally and informally helping, classmates. I just, it's everything to me. That one line the best way you can thank me is to pass on what you've learned and I just I've just kept on doing that. It's made such a big difference in my life man other experiences how many can I give it's I don't know I think honestly, I'll probably just move on to my next thought here, but really the thing I want to emphasize is how much these experiences and these small lessons have become core parts of who I am and honestly, I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for my time in martial arts.
I really wouldn't now after I stopped training I had a really hard time after I stopped training and you know sugar I keto five six years I have two black belts now. It was this classic cliche moment of you don't know what you've got until you lose it and it wasn't until I walked away from martial arts that I realized how much it had done for me. Of course it was great exercise. You know I was training towards the end there I was training for two plus hours, six days a week, and sometimes more than two hours, even we would literally end class and leave the dojo and sometimes me and my friends, sometimes three of us would just be in the garage and we would just do extra sparring sessions.
We would come home, we would just do more sparring in the garage. Sometimes we would even do two on one sparring sessions, which was a lot of fun and most of the time you'd lose, but it was a lot of fun.
Great exercise, got a good sweat, but martial arts was also character development for me. It was self-improvement. We had such a great bond, a family bond almost at the dojo. I'm going to talk about that in a little bit here, but one thing I remember was that the dojo was a space where I felt like I could leave everything else outside. When I stepped onto the mat, everything that was happening in my life family, friends, school, anything was left behind. Everybody who stepped onto that mat was there for one purpose, to train and better ourselves. It was just amazing to create that space for myself and losing that was big.
I lost this exercise, this sense of being able to express myself physically. Which by the way, it's great stress relief. I say this all the time. I truly have not found anything more stress relieving than beating up a punching bag. I really have it. It's just incredible. But on top of that...
This opportunity for character development this incredible bond that I had almost a second family and this space where everything else was left outside. It was just incredible and I also felt feel like I fell into this trap that I see sometimes a lot of people I see a lot of people make this fall into this trap of getting their identity wrapped up in something that they do so many people define themselves by what they do, what their job is, their hobbies, whatever. For me at the time, martial arts, I used to say that, if you asked me, who is Eric Chow at that age? I probably would have said student, brother, son, and martial artist. That was...
Pretty much my four, though that was Eric Chow. Like that's all I got. I got nothing else. Friend, I guess you could throw in a fifth one in there. The truth was the most important one to me at the time was martial arts. It wasn't any of the other, I mean the other ones were great, but martial arts was the one that just felt like me. Me being me, that's the one. And... After I left that I didn't know who I was without it and a lot of people fall into that trap. I really feel that and it was so important for me to quit martial arts as hard as it was and I truly cannot emphasize how tough that was for me in fact, even in the few months after.
I guess I should put a little trigger warning for just the next 10 seconds I truly did contemplate suicide for a little while and no, of course it was not purely because of martial arts. There was a lot going on in that point in my life, but I did I mean, it's just it's just the truth and I won't really go into that story right now. But it was rough for a little while there and finding myself outside of martial arts and post that night where I was literally contemplating suicide, it sparked a lot of change in me. It sparked this inspiration to better myself and to find myself again.
That's when I started diving into personal development and outside of martial arts. That's when I decided I needed to start figuring out who I was, the kind of person I wanted to be. I needed to start looking at who am I hanging out with. It was a slow journey, I'll be very honest. It was a very slow journey, but man, has it been freaking awesome. Just it's led me to where I am and what I'm doing and the path I'm headed on today I mean I truly cannot explain how excited I am there was a point I remember where I literally thought to myself I don't think I don't see how life can get any better.
This was during that time I was contemplating suicide and now I mean it's not even I truly do believe that the best is yet to come. I don't even think, forget it's not going to get any better. I believe the best is yet to come. I believe this right now, where I am right now, is as bad as it's going to get. Right now it's not bad at all. I truly do believe the best is yet to come. I'm so excited about life and this journey that I've been brought on. It's just amazing. It really is.
Why I wanted to share this story is because me and some of the people I've been, I was fortunate enough to train with, including my sensei. We have a little group chat and we've just been talking a little bit, a gentleman reached out and sent a very nice message. We've been going back and forth and sharing our story and sharing our experience with each other like a lot of what I just shared here on the podcast, I just shared with them. We're all just sharing our story of what martial arts has done for us and we're actually planning a little meetup in the next couple of months so some of us can get together.
So I'm going to see my sensei again which will be really cool and man I don't know I'm just excited about life and why I wanted to share this, what I hope this story can do for you. I end these episodes with what takeaways are there for you and I don't know what takeaways there are. Maybe you take away something that I don't even consider or think about, but I guess the main ideas for me, number one, making a choice for yourself.
Again, martial arts was the first time I made a choice for myself. I said, this is something I want to do and I'm going to stick with it. Even if I don't feel like going today, I'm going to show up. That is such an important principle. Number two, I would say character is so damn important. Yes, of course you can improve because you're damn good at something. Or you're good at learning or you're determined or whatever the character treating people right not being so focused on you and not also not being so focused on other people it's a nice balance of improving you and helping other people number three pass on what you've learned I can't tell you how gratifying it has been and how beneficial it has been.
My life is infinitely better off because I've decided to make that idea a core part of who I am. Another main idea, I think this is number four at this point I've kind of lost count, but I think it's number four. Don't define yourself by what you do. Define yourself by who you are. You are more than whatever it is that you do. You are more than that.
We are not defined by our job by our career by what we do for a living. Yes, that's an important part and I'm still probably going to ask somebody that I meet what do you do for a living? I'm still probably going to ask that just because it's a simple way to start a conversation and start getting to know somebody but we are more than that. We are human freaking beings. That's so damn awesome I mean, our odds of being born are 400 trillion to one or some ridiculous number like that. We are more likely to get struck by a lightning bolt seven times in our lifetime than to actually just be born.
I've read another one that said, if there was a turtle or a fish or whatever, and one, just one turtle, one fish in the entire ocean, like all seven oceans. We threw one of those tubes, the tubes that you just like stuck yourself. It looks like a donut, that one. You throw one tube somewhere, anywhere into the ocean. The odds of that tube hitting the water and the turtle popping up in the middle of that tube is pretty much the odds of you being born. Science.
I do not know how the hell they came up with that statistic, but people much smarter than me did. So that's all I got to say. Like the odds of that of you being born is ridiculous. You were more, the idea that considering that, the idea that you were simply defined by what you do is just, it doesn't make any sense. You were more than that. I hope you start to realize that. Your worth is tremendous. The impact you can make is tremendous. I mean just think about some of these little moments, you know my sense they telling me about respect and humility and what that has done for me that one line like forget everything else this man has done for me that one line and how that has impacted my life is just crazy.
I guess that would be a fifth lesson what you say matters you never know what line is going to stick with somebody. You know my mentors today like to say words or seats and sometimes the seed you plant in somebody's mind lands on fertile ground fertile soil and sprouts very tall dozens and dozens of feet into the air into a mighty tree and some of those seeds have definitely grown up in my mind and in my heart and in my soul and who I am. So I guess that's pretty much all I wanted to share a little bit of this story and some some big ideas that have really helped me along my journey.
I don't even know how many of you are going to listen to this, but I didn't start this show for to reach thousands and thousands of people. I started this show so I could express myself and share myself and help other people who wanted to listen and who wanted to share too so those of you who are listening, I appreciate you so much. Thank you I hope this helps. I hope this was something that you found interesting and in any case I am excited for coming episodes and just life in general which I it's probably sounding like a broken record at this point because I think I've said that so many darn times, but screw it Alright, well that brings us to the end of this episode. Thank you for listening. I'll see you next time. Bye.